October 7 2014, 8pm
‘The Avengers’ (2012)
Personally, I like to think that what Thor means is that if Loki really was from Asgard, he would had killed a lot more people.
Totally here for “GO BIG OR GO HOME: THE ASGARD WAY OF LIFE” headcanon.
October 6 2014, 9pm
Okay but can I have a really lengthy, in-depth meta about Captain America and his USO girls?
Like how at first these girls are split down the middle on opinions of him… at the start, half are probably thinking this is just a job, just a gig, they’re lucky to find something this cushy during a damn war but god they’re going to have to put up with so much crap from this guy and he’ll probably be a cocky, high-maintenance diva at best or a sexist, womanizing diva at worst. And the other half is probably swooning and hoping they’ll get the chance to hop into bed with that gorgeous Greek god of a man. But the ones who flirt with him soon find he’s a stammering mess of ‘how do converse with dames?’ and soon after give up on trying to worm their way into his bunk because the guy is like a pillar of morality, won’t be budged, won’t compromise.
The girls take bets on whether he’s taken or gay, or both, to the point that it actually becomes a pool between these ladies and the stakes are pretty damn high. They could probably buy some nice war-bonds with that kind of money (snerk). So now some of the girls are probably a little bitter that they can’t be with Steve, but then one night after a show maybe some GI’s get too handsy, or maybe the Senator’s assistant tries to use his position to force one of the dancers into doing something they don’t want, or maybe some fellas got a little too drunk after the show and try their luck. But Steve’s there like some kind of avenging angel, tells the guys to back off, show some respect, no means no. When one sleazeball puts his hand up one of those red-and-white skirts without permission, he clocks the guy so hard he loses three teeth.
After that, the girls collectively just adore him. He’s usually pensive and keeps to himself, reading alone in his room instead of partying and picking up dames, even though they all know he could. He doesn’t drink (even before he knew the serum meant he couldn’t get drunk), but he does offer to escort the ladies back to their rooms after he sees first hand what they deal with on a daily basis. In return, when they see Steve being accosted by a particularly determined gal trying to get into his pants, and he really is just too much of a gentleman to give firm no and walk the hell away, they flutter around him all doting and smiles and accost him back to the hotel. He gives them that little sheepish grin and all his gratitude, and yeah, they have to admit they were completely wrong about him.
Steve Rogers in the modern day being completely supportive of all performers, being a very vocal feminist, and maybe even taking a shine to Stark’s Ironettes. Just not quite in the way Tony does (and maybe he tells Tony to be a little more respectful of his dancers… after all, they’re just trying to make a living).
#OH MAN#WHY HAVE THE IRONETTES NEVER BEEN STEVE’S POSSE IN A FIC#THEY WOULD TOTES BE HIS POSSE#CAN YOU JUST IMAGINE#because those are some women who are used to the absolute worst behavior from the males around them#they knew tony before his come to jesus moment for crissake#i bet pepper and rhodey have both had slap around some restraining orders for douchebags rich assholes at tony’s parties#and then steve comes along#and he’s sheepish but also all MA’AM IS HE BOTHERING YOU#and then on top of that he can do this one girl’s makeup when she sprains her wrist#and knows how to take care of one of those waffle-shaped burns you get when you slide infishnets the wrong way#and then a hop skip and a jump later and there are hot ladies helping steve paint his bathroom#and playing charades on a saturday night (via ifeelbetterer)
September 30 2014, 11am
Peter Quill actually only had trouble holding the infinity stone because he’s half Terran.
A fully human Terran would have done much better.
I mean, Jane Foster had the aether inside of her in Thor 2, and that seemed pretty potent (and potentially could have been another infinity stone, besides).
In fact, considering all of the mutants and badassery and whatnot that abounds in the Marvel universe, and the heavy-hitters Terrans can produce with just a little genetic tweaking or gamma radiation, it’s possible that Asgard took to ‘safeguarding’ Midgard in the first place because Odin figured out that the natives are scary as balls.
Maybe during the war with the frost giants, certain humans started manifesting strange/special abilities to deal with the threat, and Asgard’s scientists/wizards/etc figured out that the poor puny Midgardians were like a sleeping monster, and the aggression of the frost giants was ‘waking them up’.
So Odin stepped in to stop them and to try and keep people from interfering with Midgard as much as possible, so the monster would stay sleeping.
Which is actually part of why he is so very pissed off at Loki for the events of Avengers, and at Thor for bringing Jane to Asgard - it’s a very, very tight secret that Midgard is a powder keg full of potential super-warriors, and Odin does not want that getting out, and he does not want them getting out. If Earth can stay as a nice, quiet, backwater planet with very little contact with the larger universe, that’s safer for everyone involved.
September 29 2014, 7pm
Pepper and JARVIS had to stage an intervention after Tony saw Pacific Rim.
#I bet Pepper saw the movie first#I bet she called up Rhodey and was like#’So I just watched Pacific Rim -‘#and Rhodey goes ‘Jesus#I know#he can never see it’#and that’s all they ever say on the subject#they keep Tony away from it for a solid few years#then he sees it#then the plot of Age of Ultron happens#I MEAN WHAT (via bonesbuckleup)
September 19 2014, 3pm
The punchline needed a story
On a narrow side street in Paris, outside a small cafe, a man sits drinking his coffee. Sunglasses hide his eyes, but not the long scars over his face. It’s been so long since he was properly anonymous, he can’t remember what it was like. It’s beginning to come back.
Another man sits down across from him. “You are a very difficult man to find. I respect that.” He gestures to the waiter for a drink, whatever the other guy is having.
The scarred man scowls. “Not enough to leave me be.”
"No. But I’m not lurking in a dark room waiting for you to come in so I can surprise you with my," his tone drops an octave, "very powerful voice."
"What do you want, Stark?"
The waiter arrives with the coffee. “You take it black? I was expecting an espresso. Tiny little teacup with an ounce of the world’s most potent caffeine. Superserumspresso.” He picks up the cup, sniffs it, sips it, makes a face. “Gah, hot.”
The scarred man glares, raises an eyebrow. “S.H.I.E.L.D. is gone.”
"But the world still needs defending. Hydra, Chitauri, all those random little events that you handled. Someone has to take care of those." He leans in. "Nick Fury is dead, but his skills still exist."
The scarred man considers it. “What are you proposing?”
"I’d like to talk to you about the Avengers Initiative."
Echoes of Nick Fury’s laughter can be heard three blocks away.
September 11 2014, 8am
Someone needs to write a fic of a battalion of superheroes randomly showing up at Sam’s doorstep because they have nowhere else to go.
"Hey Sam… so Pepper threw me out of my house and Rhodey’s on vacation in Mexico."
"Steve has spoken much of you Son of Wil. Do you wish to do battle against my adopted brother?"
"So… show an archer these wings I’ve heard so much about."
And Sam cursing Steve and Natasha in the depths of his soul because they started the trend and then told all their friends about it.
And then, one day everyone comes over and cleans Sam’s house, brings him enough groceries to stock his fridge, do his yard work, and make him dinner.
Because making Sam the babysitter for the Avengers isn’t cool and he needs to be pampered, too.
September 8 2014, 8am
Just a reminder to the world that there is this glorious feminist thing called the Hawkeye Initiative. Where people draw Hawkeye (and possibly other avengers) in various sexual poses that comic artists generally depict women in.
the greatest thing in the universe.
September 2 2014, 7pm
Title: Hell Yeah
Summary: Tony Stark showed up in Steve Rogers’ hospital room with a get-well bouquet and an ulterior motive.
When Tony Stark met Sam Wilson for the first time, he offered his hand, shook firmly, and said, “So that was you.”
"On the carriers? Yeah man, kind of hard to miss," Sam replied.
"Not what I meant," Tony said, beaming wide and pleased. Sam had heard about his infamous charisma; you hear about how certain people just switch it on. He’d have been more awed by it if he hadn’t spent the last few days with Steve Rogers, but it was still impressive. Having all that Stark focused on him was amazing and a little disconcerting.