August 23 2014, 9am
The Avengers and GotG hanging out after their first joint battle…
- Peter geeking out because Captain freakin’ America is listening to his mixtape on his Walkman and omg is he bobbing his head to the music OMG YES
- Tony nerding out over Peter’s helmet, flicking it on and off and on and off and promising himself Yup, my suit’s gonna do this, in less time and it’s gonna be way cooler too, thanks
- Gamora and Natasha regarding each other with respect but also warily because badass assassins know what other badass assassins are capable of and all their loved ones are within killing range
- Gamora pretending not to be interested in the handsome Captain or his broody friend with the metal arm and their muscles
- Rocket not bothering to pretend that he’s not interested in that metal arm and Yeah, we might need that later, pal, trust me
- Thor arm wrestling with Drax and Groot
- Clint and Rocket snarking at each other and secretly enjoying it
- The Hulk responding surprisingly amiably to Groot’s words
- Groot giving the Hulk a delicate little flower from his palm
- The Hulk shrinking until Bruce is there holding the flower with an utterly peaceful look on his face
- Sam and Tony studying the thrusters of Peter’s boots and No Stark I don’t need those on my wings, what did I tell you about messing with them and Wilson, Wilson, don’t you see what we have here, let me upgrade your wings, please
- The pizza delivery kid hauling 30 pizzas up to Avengers’ Tower and being greeted at the front door by a smart mouth raccoon and a walking tree and Tony Stark with a weird helmet on his face and a scary guy with a metal arm who grunts keep the change and he thinks, how is this my life every other friday, how
August 17 2014, 8pm
natasha: [CASUALLY DODGES ALIEN PHOTON BLAST AND CALMLY RESUMES FIRE]
clint: [RESTING FACE WHILE DESTROYING 10 CHITAURI WITH SINGLE ARROW]
clint looks so bored like he’s making his grocery list in his head
August 13 2014, 11pm
Headcanons about how Natasha Romanoff is a massive dork
- A lot of Natasha’s mysterious reputation around SHIELD stems from the fact that she sometimes doesn’t know how to end a conversation so she’ll dive away Batman style when the other person’s back is turned.
- Whenever Natasha walks into a room, she immediately ranks everyone in it from most to least threatening, then favorite to least favorite. For the second list, no one can match Tony’s ability to go from a respectable placing to dead last in the span of one sentence.
- She’ll watch any movie with “shark” in the title, provided the movie is also objectively terrible.
- Natasha loves emojis.
- Natasha genuinely enjoyed spending time with Pepper while investigating Tony, but once her mission was over, Natasha immediately disappeared to avoid the awkwardness of the “so hey, I was undercover and everything I told you about myself was a lie” conversation. Then Maria starts working at Stark Industries and arranges power lunches that seem a lot like the three women getting mimosas and complaining about their day, and now Natasha and Pepper have a standing dinner date every time they’re in the same city.
- She changes her hair so often for the novel joy of being able to choose what she looks like. Natasha has liked all her hairstyles, except that one perm which we don’t talk about or acknowledge existed, Clint, don’t you dare show those pictures to Steve.
- She knows it’s childish, but Natasha identifies to an uncomfortable degree with any robot character who seems to be programmed to experience emotion, especially if the humans around them doubt the robot really feels anything. (It’s not like she’s written anything down about it, she’s not that sad, but for the past decade Natasha has been working on this version of Blade Runner where it’s this replicant who’s the hero, and she ends up escaping Earth and heads off to explore alien planets with a mech-shark she stole from the Tyrell Corporation, it sounds dumb but it’s actually very exciting and oh god, Natasha is that sad.)
- Once Natasha left her phone on Sam’s kitchen table. When she came back two minutes later, Sam and Steve had managed to take eighty-two selfies. She kept them all. It’s embarrassing how happy they make her.
- But it’s more embarrassing to Sam and Steve when Natasha shows the selfies to Maria and Pepper at lunch, and that makes Natasha pretty happy too.
June 24 2014, 12pm
Something with Sam getting his wings back? He did say there was only one left and Bucky broke that one. He must have been pretty happy that he can get them back. (I imagine that Tony took it as a challenge to build wings)
Sam was waiting for Steve on a park bench. There were a lot of superhero things that Sam didn’t qualify for, especially now that he was wingless. That was fine, mostly, but suggesting Captain America steal his wings back for him had only been 50% because Captain America needed his help.
The other 50% had been—would always be—that he loved to fly.
But he could do waiting. He’d been flightless most of his life. He could sit stuff out.
Someone sat next to him on the bench. He looked up and had that weird feeling he got a lot with Steve’s friends—that feeling that he knew their face but only through a TV.
"Hi?" he ventured.
"I know something about having a best friend who runs around in a superhero outfit," the guy said. "And I know a little bit about needing to fly, too."
"OK…good," said Sam. "Good…for you?"
The guy rolled his eyes. “See, my best friend is Tony Stark—” oh, Rhodes, this was Colonel Rhodes, and Sam tried to sit up straighter “—and I had to steal my wings right out from under him.”
"Sir?" said Sam.
"I want you back in the air, Sam," said Rhodes. "Because Steve needs you there."
"It’s not entirely in my control, sir," said Sam.
Rhodes lowered his aviator sunglasses on his nose and looked at Sam over the rim. “The information I am about to give you is so classified, it’s not even classified, you feel me?”
"OK, this is how you annoy Tony Stark into making you the fancy toys…"
June 23 2014, 2pm
So everyone talks about Steve being able to wield Mjolnir and that’s cool and all, but a lot of people forget that Clint, in the comics, is one of the few people who can properly use Steve’s shield.
So…yes. Steve holds his hand out and accidentally catches Mjolnir and meanwhile Clint’s out of arrows and the shield lands near him so he just kind of says “fuck it” and picks up the shield and starts throwing it. And Thor kind of shrugs and just grabs the nearest thing to use as a weapon. Maybe tosses one of the bad guys at the other bad guys. Maybe tosses Tony at the bad guys. Something.
And later they all agree that was pretty fun.
It’s always fun to use Tony as a blunt instrument.