April 21 2014, 9pm



ikiracake
If you want, I can copy paste everything we've written and submit it to you. And if you're still up for prompts: Between all six of the Avengers, they've eaten some WEIRD stuff. So when they find out that Tron has a very limited diet, they take it upon themselves to find something else Tron can eat. Tony and Bruce are all scientific about it, comparing calorie contents and making charts, Clint makes all sorts of weird dishes, and Cap makes the simple stuff his mom used to make when he was sick


cameron-mckell:

(If you would, I’d be very grateful. I’m just going to go ahead and publish this one, though…)

One of the first steps of the Science Bros’ Scientific Food Method is breaking something he CAN eat into its component parts, which takes a bit of time. The first thing they try (as in, the easiest to acquire) is a spoonful of the monosaccharide glucose in syrup form.

Tron makes a terrible face at it, and completely mystifies the pair of them for a solid week.

After seeing Bruce and Tony’s lack of success, Clint hands Tron a bowl of unflavored popcorn, juice from a habanero chile, black licorice, salted cod, arugula salad, a sour cherry pastry, almond butter, and as a joke because of something Sam Flynn mentioned in passing, a pint of motor oil. Sure, Clint wasn’t a genius or anything, but he was pretty good at spotting patterns, so tried to hit as many major flavor types as possible (salty, sweet, sour, bitter, hot, nutty, anise-y) and a couple different grains (corn and wheat).

Tron had had to physically remove himself from the almond butter, even before he could taste it, and Clint had to remove himself when Tron tried - and seemed to like, or at least not dislike or completely avoid - the habanero juice and motor oil, and then mixed them together.

Everyone who heard about it became equally traumatized, so they all agreed that those ones didn’t count.

At this point the Science Bros try again, this time with esters. They fail, unfortunately, but are treated to the strange sight of Tron’s eyes ‘watering’ as he flees the lab, leaking two thin trails of liquid energy, which still noticeably glowed, even in their bright surroundings.

Steve’s success is sort of an accident; he’d heard about the bad reaction Tron had had to the last attempt, and came by to apologize for the Science Bros and make sure the program was okay. Tron said he would be fine, but Steve offered to help him wash the remaining esters out of his eyes with the sprayer attached to the kitchen sink.

Steve helps Tron get situated at the sink - even though the water occasionally makes an odd sizzle noise if it splatters onto a circuit - and resumes making lunch while watching over him. There isn’t a whole lot to do while rinsing out one’s eyes, so Tron ends up asking about the peculiar but pleasant smell in the kitchen.

And so, after Tron’s eyes have been thoroughly cleaned out, he tries his first bite of an old Irish stew that’s probably about half cabbage, with a bit of barley, potato, and tallow.

When Sam Wilson comes by to accompany Steve to a meeting in a couple hours, he finds the two of them talking over soup about Steve’s mother making something delicious out of nothing like a human SHIVA laser analogue, in a room that practically reeks of cooked cabbage.

"Man, you weren’t kidding about the ‘boiling everything’ bit, were you?"

Steve just smiles and offers Sam a bowl; Sam pretends to make a fuss for a moment, but joins them with a smile.

OH GOD IT’S PERFECT

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April 19 2014, 4pm


merwhovengerlockhoodoncer:


releasemyeffinflamingos:

They didn’t find him for a week.

reblogging because i headcanoned that they only found him because Tony happened to be flying that way and was like “that’s a freaking huge bird nesting in th- WHAT THE HECK CLINT? GUYS I FOUND CLINT!”

merwhovengerlockhoodoncer:

releasemyeffinflamingos:

They didn’t find him for a week.

reblogging because i headcanoned that they only found him because Tony happened to be flying that way and was like “that’s a freaking huge bird nesting in th- WHAT THE HECK CLINT? GUYS I FOUND CLINT!”


April 18 2014, 11pm


Even Rocky had a montage


  • archwrites: y'all I've been thinking, I want avengers 2 to be like at least 30% teambuilding activities, with like a training montage and then they use the Flying V or something
  • copperbadge: Oh my god an Avengers training montage
  • copperbadge: I need it
  • resplendeo: what music playing
  • copperbadge: Eye of the Tiger
  • resplendeo: because several options
  • copperbadge: No, Led Zeppelin
  • archwrites: which one, Sam?
  • copperbadge: The one that starts NAH NAH NAH NAH NAAAH NAAAH NAAH NAAAAH wait I'll find it [Kashmir, he meant Kashmir]
  • KnottaHooker: that's unhelpful
  • resplendeo: that could be so many songs, sam
  • KnottaHooker: :{
  • KnottaHooker: :P
  • archwrites: Tony would try to make it "Shoot to Thrill"
  • resplendeo: or iron man
  • archwrites: hahahaha he tries to use "Iron Man" and everybody just SHUTS HIM DOWN
  • archwrites: "This is a TEAM EXERCISE, Tony"
  • series: ahahahaa
  • copperbadge: I love Kashmir but can never remember the name
  • archwrites: it would also be really funny to have a training montage to like Frank Sinatra
  • series: pfffff
  • copperbadge: Or it cuts back and forth
  • archwrites: "Fly Me to the Moon", and Iron Man's like thorwing Steve
  • copperbadge: Like, everyone else is listening to Shoot to Thrill and Smells Like Teen Spirit
  • KnottaHooker: HAHAHAHA
  • archwrites: AHAHAHA
  • copperbadge: Steve, Bucky, Sam are over there training to Glenn Miller
  • series: omg
  • resplendeo: tony starts blasting Star Spangled Man
  • archwrites: no way, Sam's trolling them all, keeps putting on "Sexual Healing"
  • series: ahahahaha
  • copperbadge: Or "It's all right"
  • copperbadge: It's all riiiiight have a good tiiiiime cause it's all riiiiiight
  • resplendeo: what would Natasha be listening to?
  • copperbadge: Lady Gaga
  • resplendeo: ooh
  • archwrites: Beyonce!
  • copperbadge: Or as she calls it
  • copperbadge: Lady Gaga Shut Up I Like It
  • resplendeo: ah
  • copperbadge: Oh Beyonce even better
  • KnottaHooker: NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU
  • series: omg pls
  • resplendeo: no
  • KnottaHooker: NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN
  • series: no knotta
  • resplendeo: no
  • resplendeo: nono
  • archwrites: Natasha, Sharon, and Maria Hill, having the most badass training session ever to Beyonce
  • archwrites: HAHAHAHA KNOTTA
  • resplendeo: yes
  • copperbadge: They woke up like this!
  • JabberwockyPie: Yes!
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April 18 2014, 8pm



Anonymous
i loved that sam and avengers fic! could you write one of sam trying to go on a trip away from saving the world and avengers not getting that he wants to relax alone? bonus bucky watching over his house while he is away...


ifeelbetterer:

(the original is here)

Sam had the bag over his shoulder and the key in the lock and he was so sure he’d get out. No Avenger had camped out on his sofa for a good week, vacation would happen. He wasn’t asking for much, just a weekend at his sister’s house in Georgia. Just enough time to quiet all that noise he was getting from his mom about not being an “active part of his extended family.”

The key clicked. Then it unclicked from the inside. Sam rolled his eyes.

"Man, you people are gonna give me a complex," he said as the door swung open. "You know if a supervillain actually tried to kill me by sneaking into my apartment, by this point I’d probably be halfway to making him chicken noodle soup by the time he got the garotte around my neck?”

Bucky glowered. Then he noticed the duffel bag.

"Are you—" Bucky started to ask, frowning at the bag. "Do you need a place to lie low?”

Then Sam made a huge mistake. He should have known better, but apparently there was a self-preservation gene missing from his DNA or something.

"Right," he said sarcastically. "Sure, I need a place to lie low. I’m totally on the run right now. While I’m gone, feel free to drink my beer.”

Bucky’s frown deepened.

In hindsight, Sam should have known that meant shit was about to get real.

***

He had gotten maybe twenty miles down I-95 when a crazy wind started to buffet the car. About ten seconds after that, the sky had turned entirely gray and what looked like some sort of tornado was forming directly over his car.

"Fuck me,” Sam said earnestly. He pulled onto the shoulder and waited.

Thor landed with a thud and a decent-sized crater a moment later.

"Friend Sam," he boomed. "Fear not. I have come to your aid."

"Oh good," said Sam and hit his head on his steering wheel.

"Do he villains force you to harm yourself?" asked Thor, approaching the driver-side window. He tapped on it and the window cracked a little. "Instruct them to make themselves apparent that we may fight like warriors!"

"There are no—”

And then there was a screech of metal and Iron Man arrived with Captain America. The decent-sized crater was now expanded.

"Sam, can you tell us—" Steve started to ask.

"I can do a scan of—" Tony said at the same time, flipping the mask open.

"Fuck. My. Life," said Sam earnestly.

Then a voice piped up from his own back seat.

"I’m guessing you’re not actually being kidnapped, huh?" said Clint. Sam had definitely looked in his rear view mirror many, many times in the twenty miles it had taken him to get this far and Clint had not been there.

"Pssh, like this is the first time I stowed away in a car," said Clint, reading the question on Sam’s face.

"Were you in the trunk?" Sam asked, morbidly curious.

Clint shrugged. “If I told you, I’d have to—you know.” He smiled. “Anyway, Tasha and Bucky have hijacked a six-wheeler and are ten minutes out.”

Sam pulled out his phone and texted his sister that he might be a bit late. Traffic, he said. Super traffic.

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April 18 2014, 7pm


eskarinart:

sinterwoldiers:

Tony being a dork and entering every room just before Bucky does so he can loudly announce that winter is coming

I just can’t not to draw them… XDDDDD


April 18 2014, 1pm


initiala:

Natasha Romanoff: S.H.I.E.L.D Agent, Russian Spy, Assassian, Matchmaker

Okay what I love most about this is Nat knows his neighbors.

(okay I love everything about this, especially Natasha continuing this conversation like they totally just didn’t jump out of a plane and murder/incapacitate twelve people, but we’ll focus on one thing in particular)

It’s really fueling my headcanon that Natasha just comes over and bothers Steve when she’s bored sometimes. She just comes in through the window sometimes, picks the lock when Steve isn’t home and rearranges his furniture (“The harmony of the room was off-balance” “That is a load of bullshit” “Have you gone undercover as a New Age specialist? No? Shut up. Harmony”), replaces his healthy food with microwave dinners. Things like that. Natasha is a world-class troll.

But she has cased his neighbors. She’s watching his back, making sure he’s in a good neighborhood, that he’s got a safe space to come home to.

STEVE PROTECTS HER ON THE FRONT LINES, SHE PROTECTS HIM ON THE HOME FRONT

(Source: chrisevns)


April 18 2014, 10am


yunuen:

fake movies: avengers lady centric au (for nyssa)

Peggy is the one to get stuck in ice in and survive the century. Pepper doesn’t get rid of Extremis and becomes Rescue. Bruce Banner stays under the radar leaving Betty as the authority in gamma radiation. Jane retains some of the Aether’s powers. Thor is busy ruling Asgard, therefore Sif is the one tasked to retrieve the Tesseract. Director Fury rounds them all up along with Black Widow for his Avengers Initiative and, Barton being compromised, Maria Hill steps up as the marksman of the team. 

tldr; the ladies save the world instead


April 16 2014, 3pm



queenklu
SAM/CLINT DUKING IT OUT OVER WHO'S THE BEST BIRD


ifeelbetterer:

The pattern starts forming: after the big missions, the normal humans on the team tend to have shit to do in the medical floor Stark made for the Tower. And they tend to have to stay there a while.

It’s not like it’s on purpose or something anyone is conscious of, but the Steve Rogers and Bruce Banners of the world basically can shake off the gaping intestinal wound and finish watching the film they’d had on pause since being called out to fight aliens. The Clint Bartons and Sam Wilsons, on the other hand, have to wait for neck braces and dislocated shoulders to be fixed. 

The first time it happens, Barton just nods to Sam and sits in stony silence for the twenty minutes it takes a nurse to bandage all the abrasions on his arms—arms which, of course, he hadn’t bothered to even clothe let alone wear significant kevlar protection. Sam’s got a pretty significant gouge out of his left shoulder so he’s not entirely up for conversation either.

The second time, Sam’s there because one of his own wings erupted and is sort of stuck in his back. Barton’s there because he fell badly and something’s wrong with his right foot.

"Taking the bird thing a bit literally," he says after a half hour.

Sam blinks. He honestly thought they weren’t ever going to talk.

"Fuck you and the bow and arrow you rode in on," he says.

Somehow, that makes Barton grin.

The third time, Barton’s whole left side is covered in burns and Sam’s just got a sprained wrist but he’s in no rush because clearly every doctor in the entire building so be dealing with the dude whose left side is entirely covered in burns.

"You get that I’m the one with the wings, right?” Sam says.

Barton grunts but it’s sort of a quizzical grunt so Sam continues.

"I mean, of the birds on this team," he says. "Let’s count how many of us should actually be jumping off cliffs into pits of fire."

Barton huffs a laugh.

"Because one of us earned their bird name," Sam says. "And the other’s all talk."

"Your face is all talk," Barton says, his voice gravelly and strained.

"Yeah, but my face can fly.”

The fourth time, they have matching bullet wounds. Nobody says anything and the machines just keep beeping quietly.

The fifth time, Barton’s jaw is broken so Sam takes the opportunity to explain how if he wanted to pick a bird based purely on eyesight, there are better options than a hawk. Falcons, for example. Super good eyesight.

The sixth time, it’s clear Barton—Clint, he corrects when Sam says it out loud—has been watching some Planet Earth. Sam decide’s to call him “Cooper’s Hawk” for a while.

"The male is smaller than the female," he explains. "Seemed appropriate."

"Fuck you,” Clint says, grinning.

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April 9 2014, 8pm



Anonymous
What if word gets around that if you show up to sam's house he'll patch you up and make breakfast


ifeelbetterer:

Apparently, searching for the Winter Soldier means moving to New York and hell no is Sam Wilson moving to Brooklyn.

"Nah, man," he explained. "I love you like whoa, but hell no. Harlem or bust."

Steve didn’t get it, but whatever. He offered to let Sam have his floor in Stark’s godawful tower, but again: hell to the no.

"I know people in Harlem," he explained further.

He should have known that sentence would put a cloud over Steve, but at least the argument held water for him. That was what Brooklyn was about, anyway. He was going to where he used to have people.

So Sam moved back to Harlem.

***

At three AM on a Thursday night, the buzzer for the front door of his apartment went off.

"If you’re here to kill me, come back in at least five hours," he told whoever it was through the intercom.

"Sorry, Sam," came Natasha’s voice. "We need a place to lie low."

Fucking whatever. He buzzed her up.

She had a different buff, blonde superhero with her this time. He introduced himself as Clint and shook Sam’s hand. Then he winced and shook out his hand which Sam could now see was turning no-good-very-bad colors.

Natasha shrugged. “You should see the other guy,” she said.

"Other guys,” Clint corrected. “So many other guys. At least twenty.”

Sam raised an eyebrow.

"Fifty," Clint continued. "Probably fifty."

Sam repeated internally: fucking whatever.

"I left my straightener in DC," he told Natasha. "Bad for your hair anyway."

"Please," she scoffed. "Straight hair is so last year."

***

Two months later, Clint showed up with Bruce Banner. A lot of people in Harlem knew about Bruce Banner.

Sam put on the Enya CD he always told people he only had because an ex left it in his apartment. (This was a lie.)

Clint gave him a look.

"Look, Harlem thanks the dude for stopping the other dinosaur dude and everything," Sam explained. "But he is not allowed to break my apartment. I don’t have the funds to build a new one from scratch."

Bruce looked…not green, not in the bad way, but green like sea-sick sort of green. Like a hangover or something. His head was lolling and Clint was basically holding him upright.

***

Bruce Banner showed up in the daylight hours two days later with Tony Stark. Tony made fun of Sam’s CD collection. Bruce Banner fixed his leaky shower.

Sam thought to himself, OK, this is my life now.

Tony had to help with the shower. It went off and soaked them both and they left wearing all of Sam’s clean jogging clothes.

***

Steve came by with the Winter Soldier—“he’s Bucky"—in the middle of the night a couple weeks later.

Sam kept the place stocked with first aid kits and poptarts these days.

About an hour after they arrived, Natasha and Thor arrived. Then ten minutes later, Clint and Tony. Then Bruce.

"Everybody gets poptarts and beer," Sam announced as he ushered Bruce in. "It’s all I have on hand."

The Winter Soldier—Bucky—looked so fucking stunned at the suggestion that Sam made a bag of microwave popcorn just to fill the sudden depth of “feed this boy” feelings that had swelled up. It was something he inherited from his mom, no doubt. She was always feeding people who looked like that.

Yeah. This was his life now.

There were superheroes having a slumber party in his living room.


April 9 2014, 9am


Finally saw Cap 2, and I won’t post any spoilers but…

I DON’T KNOW WHAT I SHIP ANYMORE. There’s like so many good pairings, and I was already kind of mixing and matching with the Avengers. Can I just give up, throw them all in a bowl and toss them like a salad and call that my OT-insert number here? ORGIES FOR ALL

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April 8 2014, 3pm


jamesfactscalvin:

the-silence-in-the-library:

commodore-cliche:

Texts from superheroes.

this is gold

"We are like kin!"


March 30 2014, 7pm


limegreenandloki:

introducing: babbuvengers

i know a dozen ppl were waiting for this but it remained a secret until now hawhawhaw :3

keep in mind they’re just tots so i didn’t want hulk to beat loki up, so the nature of their fight shifted to a lego battle

I can’t express how much I love these

(Source: lokis-gspot)


March 9 2014, 8pm


knottahooker:

flange5:

I HAVE A PROBLEM. A MANY-TENTACLED PROBLEM.

Store link.

DUBIOUS CONSENTACLES Y/Y?

DAVE, YOU NEED THE CAPTAIN AMERICA ONE

The one from the aquarium can be Steve Roctopus, his civilian alter-ego


February 11 2014, 9am


moriartyandthewinchesters:

Imagine all of the other Avengers frantically trying to stop Bruce from downloading flappy bird

Except for Tony who would shell out a couple million to buy him a phone with Flappy Bird on it, and then sit back and laugh