September 19 2014, 3pm
The punchline needed a story
On a narrow side street in Paris, outside a small cafe, a man sits drinking his coffee. Sunglasses hide his eyes, but not the long scars over his face. It’s been so long since he was properly anonymous, he can’t remember what it was like. It’s beginning to come back.
Another man sits down across from him. “You are a very difficult man to find. I respect that.” He gestures to the waiter for a drink, whatever the other guy is having.
The scarred man scowls. “Not enough to leave me be.”
"No. But I’m not lurking in a dark room waiting for you to come in so I can surprise you with my," his tone drops an octave, "very powerful voice."
"What do you want, Stark?"
The waiter arrives with the coffee. “You take it black? I was expecting an espresso. Tiny little teacup with an ounce of the world’s most potent caffeine. Superserumspresso.” He picks up the cup, sniffs it, sips it, makes a face. “Gah, hot.”
The scarred man glares, raises an eyebrow. “S.H.I.E.L.D. is gone.”
"But the world still needs defending. Hydra, Chitauri, all those random little events that you handled. Someone has to take care of those." He leans in. "Nick Fury is dead, but his skills still exist."
The scarred man considers it. “What are you proposing?”
"I’d like to talk to you about the Avengers Initiative."
Echoes of Nick Fury’s laughter can be heard three blocks away.
September 11 2014, 8am
Someone needs to write a fic of a battalion of superheroes randomly showing up at Sam’s doorstep because they have nowhere else to go.
"Hey Sam… so Pepper threw me out of my house and Rhodey’s on vacation in Mexico."
"Steve has spoken much of you Son of Wil. Do you wish to do battle against my adopted brother?"
"So… show an archer these wings I’ve heard so much about."
And Sam cursing Steve and Natasha in the depths of his soul because they started the trend and then told all their friends about it.
And then, one day everyone comes over and cleans Sam’s house, brings him enough groceries to stock his fridge, do his yard work, and make him dinner.
Because making Sam the babysitter for the Avengers isn’t cool and he needs to be pampered, too.
September 8 2014, 8am
Just a reminder to the world that there is this glorious feminist thing called the Hawkeye Initiative. Where people draw Hawkeye (and possibly other avengers) in various sexual poses that comic artists generally depict women in.
the greatest thing in the universe.
September 2 2014, 7pm
Title: Hell Yeah
Summary: Tony Stark showed up in Steve Rogers’ hospital room with a get-well bouquet and an ulterior motive.
When Tony Stark met Sam Wilson for the first time, he offered his hand, shook firmly, and said, “So that was you.”
"On the carriers? Yeah man, kind of hard to miss," Sam replied.
"Not what I meant," Tony said, beaming wide and pleased. Sam had heard about his infamous charisma; you hear about how certain people just switch it on. He’d have been more awed by it if he hadn’t spent the last few days with Steve Rogers, but it was still impressive. Having all that Stark focused on him was amazing and a little disconcerting.
August 23 2014, 9am
The Avengers and GotG hanging out after their first joint battle…
- Peter geeking out because Captain freakin’ America is listening to his mixtape on his Walkman and omg is he bobbing his head to the music OMG YES
- Tony nerding out over Peter’s helmet, flicking it on and off and on and off and promising himself Yup, my suit’s gonna do this, in less time and it’s gonna be way cooler too, thanks
- Gamora and Natasha regarding each other with respect but also warily because badass assassins know what other badass assassins are capable of and all their loved ones are within killing range
- Gamora pretending not to be interested in the handsome Captain or his broody friend with the metal arm and their muscles
- Rocket not bothering to pretend that he’s not interested in that metal arm and Yeah, we might need that later, pal, trust me
- Thor arm wrestling with Drax and Groot
- Clint and Rocket snarking at each other and secretly enjoying it
- The Hulk responding surprisingly amiably to Groot’s words
- Groot giving the Hulk a delicate little flower from his palm
- The Hulk shrinking until Bruce is there holding the flower with an utterly peaceful look on his face
- Sam and Tony studying the thrusters of Peter’s boots and No Stark I don’t need those on my wings, what did I tell you about messing with them and Wilson, Wilson, don’t you see what we have here, let me upgrade your wings, please
- The pizza delivery kid hauling 30 pizzas up to Avengers’ Tower and being greeted at the front door by a smart mouth raccoon and a walking tree and Tony Stark with a weird helmet on his face and a scary guy with a metal arm who grunts keep the change and he thinks, how is this my life every other friday, how
August 17 2014, 8pm
natasha: [CASUALLY DODGES ALIEN PHOTON BLAST AND CALMLY RESUMES FIRE]
clint: [RESTING FACE WHILE DESTROYING 10 CHITAURI WITH SINGLE ARROW]
clint looks so bored like he’s making his grocery list in his head
August 13 2014, 11pm
Headcanons about how Natasha Romanoff is a massive dork
- A lot of Natasha’s mysterious reputation around SHIELD stems from the fact that she sometimes doesn’t know how to end a conversation so she’ll dive away Batman style when the other person’s back is turned.
- Whenever Natasha walks into a room, she immediately ranks everyone in it from most to least threatening, then favorite to least favorite. For the second list, no one can match Tony’s ability to go from a respectable placing to dead last in the span of one sentence.
- She’ll watch any movie with “shark” in the title, provided the movie is also objectively terrible.
- Natasha loves emojis.
- Natasha genuinely enjoyed spending time with Pepper while investigating Tony, but once her mission was over, Natasha immediately disappeared to avoid the awkwardness of the “so hey, I was undercover and everything I told you about myself was a lie” conversation. Then Maria starts working at Stark Industries and arranges power lunches that seem a lot like the three women getting mimosas and complaining about their day, and now Natasha and Pepper have a standing dinner date every time they’re in the same city.
- She changes her hair so often for the novel joy of being able to choose what she looks like. Natasha has liked all her hairstyles, except that one perm which we don’t talk about or acknowledge existed, Clint, don’t you dare show those pictures to Steve.
- She knows it’s childish, but Natasha identifies to an uncomfortable degree with any robot character who seems to be programmed to experience emotion, especially if the humans around them doubt the robot really feels anything. (It’s not like she’s written anything down about it, she’s not that sad, but for the past decade Natasha has been working on this version of Blade Runner where it’s this replicant who’s the hero, and she ends up escaping Earth and heads off to explore alien planets with a mech-shark she stole from the Tyrell Corporation, it sounds dumb but it’s actually very exciting and oh god, Natasha is that sad.)
- Once Natasha left her phone on Sam’s kitchen table. When she came back two minutes later, Sam and Steve had managed to take eighty-two selfies. She kept them all. It’s embarrassing how happy they make her.
- But it’s more embarrassing to Sam and Steve when Natasha shows the selfies to Maria and Pepper at lunch, and that makes Natasha pretty happy too.